poverty

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Money Management – Part 1: The Big Picture

January 24, 2012 in economy, frugal living, job search, money, poverty, recession, unemployment by boxcarkids | 5 comments

When you have a small and sporadic income, budgeting isn’t easy.  To be honest, even when I was employed fulltime I was never the poster child for budgeting.  You know how we’re told by all the personal finance gurus that you need to have 6 months worth of living expenses saved in case of an emergency or lay-off?  At best I managed 3 or 4 months.  Periodically I got hooked on some new financial management software or gimmick and, as with exercise programs, followed it religiously for a few months before reverting to old habits.    Money management wasn’t really part of my education – it was one of those subjects that wasn’t discussed much at home and in school the only part of the curriculum that came close was learning to balance a checkbook in home economics class.

Nevertheless I was relatively responsible in how I handled my money – tucking some away in savings, never coming close to the extravagant credit limit on my cards, and paying my bills on time.  I did enjoy browsing through stores and sometimes indulged in a little ‘shopping therapy’ when blue or to mark special occasions in my life.  I had a laid back attitude about money because I had a healthy and regular income.

To say that’s changed is an understatement.  These days financial issues are my biggest stressor.  Nothing keeps me awake late into the night, or makes me as anxious and irritable as wondering about whether I’ll be able to pay the bills.  With over 20 million Americans out of work, I figured others are probably having the same concerns so I went looking for tips and advice.

The blog, Living ‘Poor’ and Loving It, caught my attention by virtue of the title alone as we are living poor and I’m not loving it!  Unfortunately the blog’s author’s three rules consist of 1) Have Very Little Money; 2) Live on it; and 3) Rule 2 will change your life if you let it.  These are rules for people who have some money but live as though they have more.  People who run up their credit cards buying things they don’t need but think they want.  People who need to pare down their expenses by not eating out, buying sporting tickets, and going on vacation.  The author says “My most important money-management tool hasn’t been figuring out how to get more but rather discovering how little I really need and how much I already have.”

Been there, done that. We passed this phase of living poor during the first year after I was laid off.  Thanks to unemployment benefits we were able to ease into being poor (although it didn’t seem like it at the time) and as I detailed in several early blog posts we learned to live with much less – in possessions, space and income.   We gave up eating out, going to movies, subscribing to cable TV.  We clipped coupons, shopped at thrift stores, and ate a lot of beans and rice. If we were careful we could afford small luxuries like buying yearbooks for the kids or eating out on a birthday night.  We made do.  It wasn’t easy but it was bearable.

Now we have entered (sunk to) a new level – with no guaranteed income, some fixed expenses, some variable expenses and the occasional emergency.  We very much live hand to mouth.  My income (mostly from writing and editing jobs and the odd sale of a cat bed) is uncertain, frequently comes in very small amounts and goes as quickly as it comes.  When someone pays you $30 and you have a quarter tank of gas in your car you don’t worry about trying to save – you just head to the gas station.

When I have a slightly larger payment or a windfall I always put aside money for rent, stock up on necessities and use part of it to pay forward on whatever bills I can (after getting caught up on whichever bills I’m behind).  I find that paying two months of internet service, or car insurance, for example, relieves some of my anxiety and a less anxious mom is definitely a good thing for the family!  But sometimes I’m too eager to get caught up and paid forward and am then caught short-handed when, as happened last week, the car battery dies and needs to be replaced or the computer crashes and needs expert care.  Then, with no credit or borrowing power, I need to borrow from the rent money, hoping that another job comes along in time for me to replace it.

I believe we are on the edge of moving from living poor, to survival living.  It’s a scary place to be – I don’t like the view from here.

Heartbreaking

December 1, 2011 in children in need, economy, kids, poverty, recession by boxcarkids | 10 comments

Just had to share this with you all – some of you may have seen it on 60 Minutes:

Hard Times Generation: Families living in cars

I’m impressed by the resiliancy of the children in this story.

Mother’s Tired She Needs a Rest

November 22, 2011 in hopelessness, poverty, recession, RV Living, single parent, unemployment by boxcarkids | 9 comments

I heard that line in a song that was playing as I was driving the kids to school this morning and I thought, ‘Oh yes.’  It struck me recently how quickly we’ve acclimated to our larger trailer and how the spaciousness seems to have disappeared and how we all feel the walls pressing in on us again.  Part of it was filling our three little rooms with furniture – that greatly diminished the floor space – but unfortunately I think the main thing is that wonderful human ability to adapt.  I could have used a few more months of everyone thinking that this is a huge improvement. Because, objectively, it is.  We no longer makes beds into tables and sofa every morning and then back into beds at night.  We have a full sized refrigerator – at least 3 times the size of the fridge in the old trailer.  Even the bathtub is an additional 10 or so inches long (still not long enough for a proper soak unfortunately).  And we have two bedrooms with doors that close.

Doors that close, but no retreat is possible as two of us share each of the tiny 8×8-foot spaces.  It’s that retreat, that quiet space, that I miss the most.  Even the most harmonious of families, which we aren’t having spent more than 2 stressful years shoehorned together into tiny spaces, need some modicum of privacy and time alone.  And personally I’ve always been a person whose batteries recharge the best in solitude.  In our ‘normal’ life, which I am losing hope of ever regaining, I enjoyed the quiet evenings when the kids were all in bed.  A relaxing bath, curling up with a cup of tea and a good book, listening to music and writing to friends; these were all mainstays of a balanced life.  And I miss that.  I miss it a lot.

I am finding life more difficult since being laid off for the 2nd time.  Something about getting my hopes up and having them dashed again I suppose.  I keep doing what needs to be done but everything is harder, takes more effort.  I’m so tired.

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