It’s not surprising, I suppose, that what I hoped would be a brilliant trajectory (up, up and away) from our old living on the edge situation, into a new life full of opportunity, has pretty much fizzled. I suspected it would when we weren’t able to sell our old trailer as fast, or for nearly as much money, as we needed. Add in our sputtering, limping journey east with its setbacks and extra expenses and it was pretty obvious that our rocket wasn’t going to make it. At this point that dream resembles a deflated balloon.
Since we arrived severely short of funds it was, and is, imperative that I find a job, both to support my family and to save so that we could make progress towards moving to a home of our own. Unfortunately, and not for lack of trying, my luck in finding employment is no better here than it was in California. I have applied for all sorts of positions from substitute teacher to kitchen help to project manager. I’ve applied in person and over the internet. I’ve had two job interviews but no job offers. It is disheartening and discouraging.
Since we don’t have internet access at home I make a trip to town a couple times a week to check in at the library and check up on the job searches I have set up on various sites such as Monster.com, LinkedIn, Simply Hired and others. I shoot off cover letters and resumes and fill out applications. I network with past colleagues and scan the classified ads. Then I pop into the BioLife Plasma center and donate plasma for $20 a visit. That at least covers the cost of gas.
On the days I don’t go into town I knit like crazy hoping to have new products to add to my Etsy shop the next time I have internet access. Knitting offers a creative outlet as well and I’ve branched out from just making cat beds. Sales are slow but I’m hoping now that fall has arrived more people will want felted hats and gloves or a cozy bed for their kitties! Christmas isn’t that far away!
The kids have settled in well enough although they still miss their friends in California. They are doing well in school and participating in drama, choir, book club and other activities. They are resilient and they trust I will be able to take care of them. I wish I were as optimistic. I feel isolated and trapped and spend a lot of time reflecting (especially in the early hours of the morning) whether this was move was the right thing to do. Reminding myself of just how dire the situation had gotten (how many more months could we hang on before we were sleeping under a bridge somewhere?) doesn’t reassure me.