They say laughter is the best medicine. I’m not sure of the palliative value of these jokes about the recession but if nothing else they provide a momentary distraction! So here are some jokes about the recession, the economy and econmists that I dredged from the Internet last night:
The economy is so bad, that I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.
The economy is so bad that African television stations are showing ‘Sponsor an American Child’ commercials!
The economy is so bad, a picture is now only worth 200 words.
The economy is so bad, I saw the CEO of Wal-Mart shopping at Wal-Mart.
The economy is so bad, I went to my bank the other day and the teller handed me a note saying, “This is a robbery!”
What’s the difference between a pigeon and an investment banker? The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW.
Three economists and three mathematicians were going for a trip by train. Before the journey, the mathematicians bought 3 tickets but economists only bought one. The mathematicians were glad their stupid colleagues were going to pay a fine. However, when the conductor was approaching their compartment, all three economists went to the nearest toilet. The conductor, noticing that somebody was in the toilet, knocked on the door. In reply he saw a hand with one ticket. He checked it and the economists saved 2/3 of the ticket price.
The next day, the mathematicians decided to use the same strategy- they bought only one ticket, but economists did not buy tickets at all! When the mathematicians saw the conductor, they hid in the toilet, and when they heard knocking they handed in the ticket. They did not get it back.
Why? The economists took it and went to the other toilet.
Man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Tells the shepherd, “I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock.” The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock so he takes the bet. “973,” says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says “OK, I’m a man of my word, take an animal.” Man picks one up and begins to walk away.
“Wait,” cries the shepherd, “Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation.” Man says sure. “You are an economist for a government think tank,” says the shepherd. “Amazing!” responds the man, “You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?”
“Well,” says the shepherd, “put down my dog and I will tell you.”
“I heard that if we don’t raise the debt ceiling, we could lose our AAA rating. Why doesn’t the auto club mind their own business?” – David Letterman
Q. What’s the best way to make a small fortune in the stock market?
A. Start off with a big one!