I Wanted a Perfect Ending

I wanted a perfect ending.  Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end.  Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.

Gilda Radner

I’ve been thinking for awhile now that this blog has played out.  I had an idea that I’d end it on a triumphant note with a job announcement long before this.  The phoenix would arise from the flames.  The boxcarkids would move outside the box! But that hasn’t happened and I’m certain that you are all getting just as bored and impatient as I am with this endless saga of the tedium of unemployed life.  I’m losing my voice – running out of things to say, saying things that I’ve said before.  Like the trailer, the blog seems to be slowly disintegrating!  So, for now I’m ending it.  Thanks to my loyal readers for sticking with us this long and especially thank you to all those readers who have supported us with compassionate advice and kind words!  I have appreciated it. If anything major – good or bad – happens I will add a post, or arrange to have one added, so that perhaps someday you’ll get a sense of where we ended up!  Take care.

This entry was posted in blogging, Farewell, homelessness, job search, poverty, recession, RV Living and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

31 Responses to I Wanted a Perfect Ending

  1. Kim says:

    You have a talent for writing…we just need to figure out how you can benefit from it. There are people out there making a living at blogging…(ex: The Pioneer Woman). You could do the same if you enjoy it and pursued it. I was a journalism major in college and did some writing and you, my dear, have a natural talent that captures an audience. Maybe that’s your sign from above for finding your true purpose???

  2. Leslie says:

    I won’t beg you to continue, because all writers know when the time is right, but I wish you all the best and want you to know that we think of your often, and Diamond and Pete, of course, everytime we have a birthday for Rascal and Freckles, who are both well and have served as constant companions to the kids.

  3. wondering says:

    A challenge to all the people who would like the blog to continue. It’s great that she and her family are in your prayers or that you are generally broadcasting good karma in her general directions.

    But let’s get down to the basics: y’all been clicking that “Donations gratefully accepted” button?

    • boxcarkids says:

      Thanks for the kind idea! I do very much appreciate my readers, some regulars, some one time drop-ins, who are moved to help us out. But there’s no charge for reading!

  4. Barb says:

    Please stay in touch. We are praying for you 😉

  5. alicia says:

    sounds like you’ve given up.

    who is john galt?

  6. I’d be honored if you allowed me to pay for your hosting for another year. No strings attached. As you can see, there are people here who care about you and have connected with you as a result of being so transparent and courageous.

  7. Amy says:

    You know who tends to sound the same after time? Columnists. If it weren’t too boring for you, I could definitely see you writing a weekly column in a newspaper or magazine. People would read it.

  8. Darlene says:

    Your blog has had me in prayer for a long time. I know the sting (and odd pride) of being “alternatively housed” from the kids’ side, and you have given me the adult’s perspective. I, too, hope that you are only resting from the blog and not fully retiring. I always made a point of doing any ordering from Amazon.com by first clicking on your ad link!

    Good luck. God bless. Don’t despair. Life will likely never be what it was, but when you have kids you always have a source of joy.


  9. Mela says:

    I haven’t posted here before either but I have been following your blog for some time now and have passed it on to others to read… I’m surprised that no one has offered you a book contract- Maybe its just a matter of finding the right person?

    I honestly look forward to reading your blog- your posts are a snapshot of a reality we could all be in at any time.. regardless of of your economic status. please continue to post… You have a captive audience in this little corner of the web and we would hate to see you go… all the best

  10. Grace says:

    I, for one, would encourage you to keep blogging. Of course you will wind up saying some of the same things, experiencing the same thoughts–it’s called life, and it is cyclical.

    What you’re really saying is that the end is coming soon enough for you–I can definitely relate to that. But maybe all those philosphers are right–it’s the journey that counts.

    For those of us with whom you’ve shared the journey so far–we’d like to continue riding with you.

  11. maja says:

    Fair enough. But I’ll miss you!

  12. Jessica says:

    I haven’t commented before, but I’ve read your blog for a while now and I’m sad to see it end. I’m a single mom of just one, finding it hard to survive, and your story has been a strange sort of comfort for me. Thank you for writing honestly and sharing your struggles. Best wishes to you and your family!

  13. Robin says:

    Although I’ve been reading your blog for sometime, this is the first time I’ve posted a response. I’ll echo what many have said: We care about you and your children and wish only the best for all of you. Take care and God bless…

  14. V's Herbie says:

    I’m sad that you feel you’re not getting what you need out of the blogging experience. I’ve enjoyed the mix of personal news and intelligent analysis you’ve put up here, and I wish you all the best!

  15. wondering says:

    Best wishes to you. Maintaining a blog is much harder work than most realize, and sometimes there just aren’t enough teaspoons to go around. We’ve benefited from a window into your world; I just wish that some paid writing gigs had come out of it for you.

    Hugs to you and your kids.

  16. Becky R says:

    I pray for good thing sfor you and your family

  17. Merinda says:

    Best of luck to you in all your endeavors, and I hope we hear from you again soon.

  18. Nancy says:

    I didn’t expect a perfect ending, but was hoping for a happier one…

    I hope you do keep everyone updated, we’re rooting for you! I have been through an episode of life very similar to what you are going through, although not as severe. Your posts really spoke to me. I do believe it will get better, I am looking at some significant milestones passed in October, which I didn’t think would ever happen when I started.

    Best wishes to you, I will be praying for you!

  19. Rachael says:

    I don’t recall if I’ve ever commented, but I’ve got this blog on the short list of those I check fairly often. I’ll miss you, and I’ll wonder how you, and the kids, are getting along. I’ll be thinking {positively} for you. (Hey if prayer circles work then maybe positive thinking vibes work too!)

    That’s not to make you feel guilty- but to let you know that you have people out here in web-land who care about you.

    Best wishes, and virtual hugs.

  20. Lisa M. says:

    Hi – I’m adding my voice to the crowd saying that I hope this is only a hiatus, rather than goodbye. I have enjoyed reading your thoughts, have been impressed with your grace, and am not bored. I wish I were in a position to help, but I am geographically far away from you (though not terribly far career-wise). I agree with whoever said to post a resume – it couldn’t hurt…

  21. I hope, with time, you will reconsider. Your blog is an inspiration to many, especially those who may be going through similar struggles in their lives. Your writing is touching and informative. Even if you are truly “blogged out” I hope you realize how many people have enjoyed your writings! Hang in there. I’ll keep checking back… just in case you decide to start writing again!

  22. Nicole says:

    Good luck and hang in there!

  23. Catherine N. says:

    I have enjoyed this blog. I hope you just put it on hiatus, rather than discontinue it. You need the contact with other adults too.. (in other words, I agree with all the comments)

    I know you can make things happen for the better, for you and the kids. Good luck.

    • boxcarkids says:

      Thanks all! Yes, I expect this will be a hiatus rather than an end, although I have to decide whether to continue to pay for my domain/web hosting service. It may be that I’ll discontinue the ads (they haven’t paid off) and move back to a free wordpress blog. I need to take time to deal with some things – the water leak repair for instance. And they’ve raised the rent on our storage unit so I’m going to sort through all our remaining possessions and try to pare down further so we can move to a smaller unit. I’m hoping to find some things I can sell to pay I need to come up with money to pay for my son’s summer reading program and some car repairs. So I’ll have my hands full for the next few weeks at least!

  24. Jerry says:

    I do hope this is a “see you later” rather than a “goodbye”. Don’t give up, and by all means do please post a resume, because maybe one of us knows someone who knows someone who’s hiring.

    And try to take it easy on yourself. No more chest pains, OK?

  25. Corey says:

    Thanks for the reading. You have had some great things to say, and I hope that it all works out for you. Maybe you should write a book on surviving the recession or something 🙂

    Anyway, good luck and I look forward to one day reading the post that just lets us all know that it worked out in the end 🙂

  26. docdave says:

    Blogs aren’t supposed to run forever, but good ones end long before their readers want them to. So it is with yours.

    What you’ve posted has been consistently thoughtful and thought-provoking. If there’s been repetition, blame it on troubles and frustration being persistent–not on your lacking something to say.

    I hope that you will keep this blog “on hold” rather than extinguishing it altogether. You have places to go, children to love and care for and a lot of hills to climb. Post an occasional update if you can, and (if I may make a suggestion) maybe post a resume or vita (suitably redacted so as to ensure your privacy); who knows what opportunities one of us might uncover, for which you’re eminently qualified?

    At the very least, we know that you are resourceful, responsible and can write well. So, you have a leg up on at least 2/3 of Congress and probably a majority of job-seekers. Long-term, the odds are in your favor.

    Best of luck–keep your Vise-Grips oiled and remember to check your inbox occasionally.

  27. Janell says:

    Are you sure you want to end the blog? It is a place to let us know what is on your heart.

    Hugs to you, I wish I had more to offer than that. I have enjoyed your blogs, so can visualize what is happening in your home.


  28. Mamie says:

    Best wishes to you all – I will still be rooting for you, and hope your journey brings you to a good place. Take care.

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