Have You Got What it Takes?

Are you bored with the same old beaches? Tired of cruising around the same old islands playing shuffleboard and bingo? 

Maybe you long for a more adventurous vacation – something outside of the guidebooks.  A walk on the wild side!  Do you secretly wish you’d been picked for the Survivor TV show?  Maybe you’ve already trekked the Amazon Rain Forest but aren’t quite ready to stroll the border of Iraq and Iran?  Have we got the vacation for you!

Are you smart? Tough?  Street savvy?  Could you make it if you were dropped into an alien culture with no survival tools?   Can you endure the utmost in privation?  NO CABLE TV!  NO INTERNET!  Sign up with us and find out if you have what it takes to be POOR FOR A WEEK!

Explore the gritty sides of urban streets!  Make friends with homeless people.  Learn how to panhandle and dumpster dive with the best of them!  Discover cool and unusual places to sleep and eat.  Meet and study bugs and small rodents up close and personal!  Develop compassion and empathy, or at least have some really great stories to dine out on for the rest of the year!

For only $1500 you get to stay in a 26-ft travel trailer for a week in an RV Park with other down on their luck folk, or if you are really brave, you can upgrade to the dirt poor level for an additional $500 and spend the week in the tent.  No campground reservations necessary (you couldn’t get one this late in the season anyway).  You will be responsible for finding your own place to pitch it. 

This unique opportunity is available at a bargain basement price for a limited time!  Only a few spots left!  Act now to reserve your spot with a $500 deposit (remainder due 24 hours prior to the beginning of your adventure)!  Contact us today at boxcarkids@gmail.com to reserve your space!

Our highly skilled and experienced guides will … do nothing whatsoever for you!  Hey, it wouldn’t be much of an adventure if we held your hand, would it?!

Your vacation package is available in 2 levels – Tough Guy or Wimp with an Adventurous Streak (WAS). Opt for the Tough Guy package and you’ll get:

  • Absolutely NOTHING!  That’s right – you’re the Tough Guy and you are on your own!

Opt for the WAS version (for an extra $350) and you‘ll get:

  • The e-book “Dumpster Diving for Dummies” and a map of recommended restaurants to visit for relatively fresh meals;
  • A can of beans and a can opener for the first night’s meal while you read the book;
  • A genuine ripped from an old cardboard box piece of brown cardboard and a black Sharpie pen along with a list of suggestions for the phrases most likely to elicit sympathy and recommendations for lucrative and safe intersections*;
  • A trial sized tube of sunscreen; and
  • A list of local soup kitchens in case you really are a wimp and can’t scrounge enough food or money to get by.

TIPS for a Successful Adventure in Poverty:                                              

Wear old clothing. Leave your Rolex, I-phone and designer jeans at home.  No one will hand you spare change if you look like you don’t need it!

Bring no more than $50 in spending money (Wimp package, Tough Guys should bring no more than $5 to $10 dollars) for a realistic experience.

Bring your spouse and children!  This trip is guaranteed to bring your family closer together (at least physically – the rest is up to you)!

Bring an open mind and willingness to explore your environment.  You’ll get hungry if you just hunker down in the trailer or tent for the week.

Oh, and try and find a job would you? 

*Disclaimer: We recommend you contact your insurance provider and personal bail bondsman prior to beginning your adventure in the event you are set upon by citizens of this fair county who don’t believe homeless or unemployed persons should reside within the boundaries; or attract the notice of the local peace officers and are arrested for loitering, panhandling, sleeping in public, staying too long in one place, or being a public nuisance in general. We are not responsible for medical costs (and couldn’t pay them if we were) and are not available to bail you out from jail!

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4 Responses to Have You Got What it Takes?

  1. Dawn says:

    All you need is the onion to ad video for this piece.

    • boxcarkids says:

      LOL! Wonder if they would?
      BTW- Jeanette – I read your comment to my daughter and she was thrilled that someone wanted to sign up! She’s really looking forward to a week in a hotel. 😉

  2. Jeannette says:

    I swear I am going to miss your blog someday…When your back on your feet I do hope you continue your blogging. You are a fantastic writer! This although true in every sense of the word is so cleverly written. Thanks for sharing
    PS- I will take the WAS version

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